It's sad but true. I've observed friends, family and strangers with perfect hearing reluctant to talk to someone who is Deaf. I've seen this happen in restaurants, libraries, the post office and -- yes, oh yes -- church. (For more on that, blogger Michele Bornert of Deaf Expresssions, experienced this prejudice in her congregation and wrote an empassioned post you should check it.)
Something I've committed to doing is to initiate a sign language conversation with people I don't know. These are people I observe signing and/or wearing hearing aids. Granted, I have preschool-level signing skills, but can get by with signing my introduction...
ME: "Hi, are you Deaf?
STRANGER: (nods head)
ME: (grinning, ear to ear) I'm hard of hearing... My name is (fingerspelled) S-H-A-N-N-A...
(awkward pause as I try to remember my signs)
STRANGER: (signs something to me)
ME: (eyes squinted at first, then pretending to understand) Yes. Okay…
(I pause. Stranger signs. I squint, then pretend to understand again.)
ME: (quickly) Okay. Nice to meet you.
Last week at a drugstore, I tested my *ASL skills* with a woman signing to a girl I observed to be her student. The teacher and young person were friendly and seemed forgiving of my signing mistakes, awkward pauses, and bluffing.
I ran into this teacher and her family again at a gift shop the very next day. They were signing to a teenage girl, who I learned was her daughter. I repeated my "Hi, are you..." ASL introduction to the girl who was Deaf. She seemed pleased (or pretended to be) that I had attempted to strike up my hands-on conversation.
Today at the post office, I yet again initiated a signing dialogue. The woman spoke very clearly and I could lipread her well, so I used more of my voice than sign. From the exchange, I learned she teaches at the same school as the teacher I’d previously met. Small world for this Lip Reader.
I am thankful for these two teachers being patient with my rudimentary signing skills. We engaged in brief, but friendly conversation... with a few silent pauses from me.
* ASL = American Sign Language (the language with which I need to become much more skilled)
3 comments:
I do feel like that sometimes, that people are afraid to talk to me. I do wish that they would not be so afraid to take the initiative to strike up a conversation.
But I also know that they just don't know what to do. Sign language can be intimidating and even though not every single deaf or hard of hearing person signs, people tend to see a hearing aid and assume that sign language is involved.
I know that when I see people with other disabilities - maybe someone in a wheelchair or a person who is blind - I feel unsure, too. Do they want help? Would I be rude if I asked them if they needed anything? What should I do or not do? I do not think that the person is weird or making me uncomfortable. I am just so worried about being offensive that I don't say anything at all.
Not that I think it is okay for me to be like that, but it has helped adjust my perspective on other people not talking to me. I don't think they're being rude, just unsure. I feel for them. Maybe instead of always expecting them to take the initiative, I need to be brave and break the ice myself and think about how I can put them at ease.
I notice at times, at work, most people don't talk to me because I'm deaf. They don't know how to communicate with me.
Even after I handed out a pamphlet on 'How to work with Deaf'.
Oh well, there loss, I suppose.
I would sign with you...!!
Lucy and Kym - Let's get together, and you could teach me more sign. ;)
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